CRYSTAL SKULL STOLEN FROM NEW AGE SHOP IN CALIFORNIA

Ok, I have the Indiana Jones theme running through my head already. A large crystal skull, named Solar Ray, yes they actually named it, was ripped off from a new age shop in Claremont, California. It was openly on display with absolutely no security measures in place. I think California has got be officially the flakiest place on earth. “We have zero shoplifting in here, and I have no idea why anyone would take something as lovely as that,” said Persis Newland, owner of Kindred Spirits. You don’t? Let’s see, does having something really cool for nothing ring a bell. Did his mother really name him Persis? The skull had been on loan and was residing on an altar in the store’s classroom area. “He was on an altar, and he just enjoyed being here,” said employee Kristen Nestor, who supervises the store’s weekly crystal-reading classes. “He participated in our classes.” So far, near as I can tell, he was the smartest one there. I want to know how he actually participated. Did he raise his crystal eyebrow when he wanted to ask a question? The skull was authentic and was believed to be 500 years old and is similar to the one that is in the new upcoming Indiana Jones movie. There is a legend that the Maya possessed 13 of the crystal skulls and when united they would save the earth. It’s the basis of the new Indy movie. Newland believes that the focus on the film may have prompted the theft. It doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes or Indiana Jones to put that one together. It’s also believed that the skulls can heal and influence natural events. Well, if they influence natural events, they must really be angry lately. Maybe the class they should have been holding for the skull was anger management. “He likes to travel and things like that,” Nestor said. What, does he pack up his little crystal bag and book a flight? Can crystal skulls get visas? “He was here for about four months, just enjoying everyone who comes through here.” Well, it seems that someone enjoyed him a little too much. If it was Mayan, maybe its green card ran out. Instead of stolen he may have been deported. I bet the skull wasn’t getting paid and this was a new age sweat shop. Has anyone called the INS?

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2008/05/12/5543991-ap.html

MILITARY INTELLIGENCE, BOMBS NEW JERSEY HOME.

Everyone has heard the comment that Military Intelligence is one of the world’s largest oxymorons. There’s a reason the word “moron” makes up most of this word. Well, this is further proof of that statement. Apparently, in New Jersey, at a military research facility, a piece of artillery misfired and its contents deposited themselves within a New Jersey suburb home. Fortunately the shell was not armed so the house itself is still standing. It did hit the family cat, who is no longer with us. It, at the very least shows, they may have been aiming at something. Maybe it was the cat. He could have been an agent. I remember the old Bond films, Blofeld always had a cat. Then there’s Dr. Evil. I may be on to something here. Shouldn’t they be doing this somewhere like maybe a war zone, an empty desert, a law firm, not in a highly populated area. Oh yea, right, sorry, it’s that Military intelligence thing again. The dud landed about 2 and-a-half miles away from its place of origin during some tests at the Picatinny Arsenal. They say it misfired, but of course what else are you going to say, “Thought we’d take a potshot at the neighborhood, see what we could pick off.” Maybe it went something like this: “Dude don’t point that cannon in that direction, it might be loaded.” It’s OK, the safety’s on.” “OOPs.” “It’s cool man, we’re in the military. We won’t have to actually explain a thing.” And they aren’t, the whole incident, so far, is unexplained from any official source. Another thing to fall victim to the convenience of classified. They probably don’t want to start a panic. You know, the next lucky target for our suburban weapons demonstration program is… Maybe they need a motto: Pot Shots R Us. We’ll get you and your little dog too. Or cat.


http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=142355&in_page_id=2