PILOT AND STEWARDESS' NIGHT OF DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY GOES BAD

We’ve all heard about the pilot and stewardess tales, flitting from one destination to the other having affairs on their layovers and in general partying in all of those wonderful exotic locations. This story shatters that dreamy idyllic illusion. Yes there are a million stories with the naked pilots, this is one of them. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, so much for the exotic location, Jeffery Paul Bradford and Adrianna Grace Connor, gotta love the names though, both employees of Pinnacle Airlines were having dinner at a diner. It had been a long night of drinking and partying. Their evening was not over. Pheromones were thick, as was the overwhelming urge of alcohol so they decided to take a walk in the woods. Somehow, it’s not really clear when, either during or after satisfying their carnal urges to two became separated from each other and their clothes. Oh horror, naked white people are running loose in the Pennsylvania woods. Yes, they were lost. People in the neighborhood summoned police at about 9:30 pm saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman wandering about. That’s when they called in the helicopter with the heat seeking equipment, the search was on. Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight. Connor was picked up after she had stolen someone’s car. “We just wanted to do it in the woods.” Was all they had to say for themselves. They did it alright. Bradford is being charged with indecent exposure, public drunkenness, and other unspecified charges. Connor is charged with theft of a motor vehicle, public drunkenness, and other minor offences including the theft of a flashlight from a neighbor’s car. Yes, our story ends with one bit of advice, if your’e going into the woods, take a compass stupid. Or better yet get a room. It’ll keep the dirt out of your butt. And your name off the internet.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080520/ap_on_fe_st/odd_naked_pilot

"GIRLS GONE WILD" SUED BY A HOOKER?

Like everyone, I’ve happened upon the cheesy infomercials in the middle of the night. The “Girls Gone Wild” series is a staple of the redeye hours of nothing on the TV and of course, displays college girls reveling in drunken debauchery and topless jiggling. I find that it perks up a long night. Ashley Dupre, the call girl that brought New York Governor, Eliot Spitzer to disgrace is currently attempting to sue Joe Francis, creator of the soft-porn mega success for using footage of her in his videos. Am I missing something here? Just because she made the media by ruining a politicians career, she’s suddenly respectable? Too good for “Girls GoneWild?” She’s filed suit against Francis for $10 million. I’m sure real porn stars don’t make that kind of money in a lifetime, let alone a hooker who just flashed her boobs. She was probably using the footage for part of her resume. "She's seeking $10 million for topless photos taken in front of a room full of people, including two newspapers and multiple crews we had in the room," says Francis. "These images were taken in public places and contain no sexual contact.” Dupre claims that Francis has used her image and name to promote the videos with her in it. You think? I know I would have. Apparently her 15 minutes of fame wasn’t enough, so now she hopes to extend it by keeping herself in the media. She probably lost a lot of clientele when she rolled over on the politician. 10 Million, that’s one heck of a trick. Who’s the one getting screwed now. Bend over, I’ll drive. There’s probably a book deal in the offing as well. There always is. Well, once a prostitute always a prostitute. That could be the title of her book. Well, since this will be going to court, we know who will get the money, the real prostitutes, lawyers. I wonder if “Girls Gone Wild will be coming out in Hi-Def soon?

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20195892,00.html?xid=rss-topheadlines