RAT ARTIST DIES – THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. Tony Blair the rat has died. No, not that Tony Blair, though that may be what is considered a valid opinion of him in some political circles. This Tony Blair is a rat, a real rat. And he’s considered an artist! This rat has been quite a sensation in Britain where some of his artwork has been selling upwards to 1000 British pounds. That’ll buy a lot of cedar chips for a rat. Apparently the rat chews on things and the owner, Helena Seget, sells them as art. What made her think that crap chewed up by a rat is art is beyond me. “Oh, that looks interesting. Think I’ll just pop down to the gallery and see what I can pick up for this piece of chewed paper.” Chewed Avocado is considered one of his greatest pieces. You realize if we found this anywhere but an art gallery we’d be calling the health department. “Let’s put it right next to the Monet’s honey.” What do you say when friends come over. “Hey Fred, there’s a half eaten avocado lying here. I’ll throw it away.” “No, that’s art.” “No, you left a chewed avocado out. I’ll pitch it.” “No don’t I paid 2000 dollars for that at an art gallery.” “I’ve got a half eaten apple core I’ll sell you for 20 bucks.” Apparently this rat’s fame has spread. The fact that he rates an obituary is amazing in itself. Even more so is the fact that the Discovery channel had just shot a documentary on Tony the Rat. It must have been a slow ratings month. “I have this great idea for a show, a British rat that’s an artist.” “Brilliant, brilliant.” “He chews up garbage and they sell it.” “Brilliant, brilliant.” When Tony died he was working on an unfinished project, a sponge, which Helena says she will finish off and sell post mortem. It was probably chewing on the sponge that killed him. Oh, to die for your art. I suspect now that the rat is dead, this one could go for millions, the last unfinished work of Tony the rat.

To read the article about this go here: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=130000&in_page_id=2

TEXAS TOWN SOLICITES INTERSTELLAR TOURISM

Recently, UFO sightings in southern Texas has run rampant. Locals have been capturing them on video and cell-phones more than the paparazzi have shot Brad and Angelina. The interesting thing is that the UFOs captured on film do NOT all look alike. This has given the impression that there were more than one of them possibly looking for a place to land and something to do. The town of Stephenville, Texas has taken this to heart. They are providing discounts, and welcoming incentives for any aliens that would like to stop, land and visit their little community. One place, a fried chicken restaurant is even advertising free parking for spaceships. Another is providing discounts but the aliens must show IDs. One claims to have a spaceship mechanic on duty for break downs. Where did they get him? Area 51? I’m not sure inviting aliens to your hometown is all that well thought out. Have these people seen Independence Day? War of the Worlds? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? One of the local taverns has a sign: Aliens welcome. We don’t know what alcohol could do to these creatures. We thought drunk driving was a problem. A drunk alien, angry at a bar patron may not just go out to the vehicle and come back with a gun. It could start an interstellar war. We all remember the bar scene in Star Wars, light sabers, blasters, this could get ugly. What about drunk alien pilots? “Pilot to tower, Pilot to tower, we have a UFO coming straight for us. He’s not moving. He’s still coming at us. Oh god he’s going to hit us. No, he swerved at the last second. We’re Ok tower, we’re OK.” Once they get here, who says they’re going to leave. This could present a whole new illegal alien problem for Texas. Remember “Men in Black,” they put them all to work in the post office. Your Christmas gifts could end up on Mars. I think Stephenville should rethink this invitation. If aliens are coming here, they need to apply for passports and visas just like everybody else.

To read more about this go here:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/23/stephenville.aliens.irpt/index.html?eref=rss_offbeat

POLICE CHASE DONUT TRUCK

The saying goes, “If you’re looking for a cop, check the donut shop.” Well, apparently if you’re looking for all of the cops, steal a donut truck. That’s what happened in Tama County, Iowa, where apparently a guy by the name of Frank Alvarado stole a donut truck. Actually it was stolen in Illinois and it was Tama County where the hot truck of law enforcement confections was spotted. The local police immediately mobilized…ALL of the police, including one officer who came in his own personal vehicle to halt this heinous theft. Now, when they caught the guy, he was stopped by ramming the truck, the police were given the contents of the donut truck. First, my question is, did they know this would be their reward before they began the chase? “Calling all cars. Calling all cars, Donut truck stolen, Reward offered, contents of truck for apprehension of suspect. Calling all cars. Hot coffee will be served at booking.” Now the other thing that occurs to me is, why a donut truck? I can only put away a couple at a time. Mr. Alvarado ran off with a truck full resulting in a high speed chase. How good are these donuts? There were three different police agencies in pursuit. Are Illinois donuts better than Iowa donuts? “Hey, man, what are you in for?” “Hijacked a truck.” “Armored?” “No Donut.” “Tough luck, man. They won’t even plea bargain for that.” “Why’d you do it?” “Munchies. You know, you’re out partying, you come across a parked donut truck, It seemed like a good idea at the time. I ate 17 before they took me down though. Crème filled.” “You’re a legend, man.”

If you want to read more about this go here: http://www.autoblog.com/2008/03/26/stolen-donut-van-chased-by-cops-lots-of-cops/