SOCCER PLAYER'S CREATIVE REHAB UNCOVERS DIFFERENT KIND OF BALLS.

A good consumer rule is to check the merchandise before you buy it. Brazilian Soccer star for the Milan Strikers and two time world cup winner Ronaldo should have paid attention to that rule when he brought a couple of prostitutes back to his room. Yes there was more than one so Ronaldo had quite a night planned for himself. He was in Brazil to rehab his injured knee and it appears his recovery is going quite well. That was the only thing about this night that would go well. These weren’t girls from Ipanema. They were transvestites. Oh Horror! Oh Rocky! Yes , Ronaldo had entered the Tranny zone. Once the package was unwrapped, the merchandise wasn’t what he had bargained for. These weren’t soccer balls staring at him. He may have wished they were. Ronaldo, realizing his error tried to get them to leave his motel room by paying them the equivalent of $600 U.S. Instead, one of them wanted several thousand and threatened to go to the media with all of the sordid details. Ah, the plot thickens. The game is afoot. Ronaldo was apparently unimpressed by the threats and there are rumors that an altercation may have insued, though no one has yet made any formal claims. One of the she-males ripped the phone out of the wall so that the police couldn’t be called, but apparently all of the prostitutes weren’t in on the blackmail attempt, only one. No goals scored here. I wonder who gets the game ball? They voluntarily went to the police and related this tale of woe and mistaken gender. Ronaldo, has gone into hiding and is not commenting. I’d hide too after that bit of embarrassment. Keeping his mouth shut can only help. He’s canceled media appearances and is working on his physiotherapy at home. That’s where he should have worked on it in the first place. There are no charges currently pending as prostitution is legal in Brazil, but one may be filed for extortion on the blackmailing prostitute. Maybe he can sue for consumer fraud. How about false advertising? Misleading packaging? So the moral of the story is, wait a minute, this story is devoid of morals, never mind.

http://sports.aol.com/soccer/story/_a/star-caught-in-incident-with/20080428223109990001?icid=100214839x1200960760x1200036714

PRINCE WILLIAM HAS A SHINY NEW HELICOPTER

Prince William has a shiny new helicopter that he simply cannot quit showing off. Of course the British tabloids are having a field day with this, they seem to have a field day with anything the royal family does. I’m surprised they don’t follow them right into the toilet. The newest outrage is that he landed his helicopter in a field outside of his girlfriend’s house. Now of course most guys, when they get a new ride pull up outside of the favorite babes house just to show it off. It seems that just because he’s a prince, he’s no different than the rest of us. “Hi, sweetheart check out the new ride. It’s even got chrome headers and wheels.” Now understand, this is a military helicopter from the Royal Air Force and the Prince has just graduated as a chopper pilot earlier this month. Thus the flap. Some are saying that it’s frivolous use of military resources. Hey, wake up. He owns it. He’s the Prince. It’s still a monarchy, the chopper belongs to him. Besides, I probably would have done the same thing. This can only make him look hot. It’s not everybody that can buzz by in his own chopper that’s armed to the teeth. “Hey babe, anybody bothers you, you just give me a call. I got it covered.” It gives a whole new meaning to don’t mess with my girl. Now the other incident he’s being criticized for is picking his brother Harry up in the chopper and flying over to a bachelor party. Now there is no way this is not a hit at a bachelor party. I’ve been to them, we would have loved to have a helicopter. Strippers, booze, porno videos and a helicopter with a rocket launcher, how is this not cool. We might even have gotten drunk and fired that puppy off a couple of times. “Oops, was that the neighbor’s new snowmobile.?” “He’s going to miss that.”All William is doing is proving he’s human like the rest of us and would like to have a good time. I think if American politicians would lighten up and do some of this silly stuff from time to time, we’d like them better. I wonder if William can play saxophone like Bill Clinton. I sort of miss that.
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/princes-helicopter-flights-questioned/20080421100209990001?icid=100214839x1200411896x1200016666

AKON, NO BAD ASS! SORRY, JUST ANOTHER GUY.

The old saying goes, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. For hip-hop star Akon, that just might not be true. In a scandal that is sure to rock the musical world, it has been discovered that Grammy winner Akon alias Aliuane Badara Thiam isn’t really a bad ass. In reality, he may have been an Eagle scout that helped little old ladies cross the street. Akon’s first single record release, “Locked Up” was supposed to have been an autobiographical song about being sent to the slam for drug dealing. He claims to have spent four and a half years in prison for a variety of felonies including running a high profile car theft operation, making him an instant hit with the bad boy “gangsta” crowd. Apparently, background checks have revealed a past so scandalous, that it will rock the music world worse than Milli Vanilli did in the 80’s. Yes it’s all a lie. He swiped a Beemer. Charges were dropped. In reality, he’s a good boy. Oh horror. He’s about as bad ass as Vanilla Ice. Minor brushes with the law have provided enough of a record to show he was on probation once. Yep, that’s it, milk and cookies. He made it all up. While most of the world tries to hide their criminal past with pleas of “I didn’t do it,” Akon felt he needed one to be popular. Next thing he’ll be claiming to have killed Jimmy Hoffa just to keep his career alive. Now that this has come out, he will probably end up in some club somewhere singing old Tony Bennett tunes. Maybe Disney will pick him up for High School Musical 3 or get him to sing a title song for a new animated flop. Motown records isn’t answering questions about this and who can blame them. What are they going to say “Sorry, we thought he was a crook.”

http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/04/18/akon-considered-a-fraud-for-lying-about-criminal-past/?icid=100214839x1200221685x1200007813