ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY HEDGEHOG

A New Zealand man, William Singalargh has assaulted a 15 year old boy with a …hedgehog. Yes, I said a hedgehog. I’ve always heard that the Kiwi’s were a bit unconventional, but this is definitely over the top. Apparently it was the only thing close at hand he could throw at the kid. Yes, he threw it at the kid. He couldn’t have picked up a stick? I’m sure this poor little hedgehog was just minding his own business, when this big creature came by and grabbed him, picked him up and hurled him through the air. “Minding my own business, looking for lunch, don’t pick me up, don’t pick me up. Wait a minute, hey, I don’t fly. Yo-Yo, no wings here.” The article doesn’t state what the 15-year-old did to deserve such a strange attack, but it does say he only received minor damage. The local police admit that this is a new one for them. The man is being charged with “assault with a hedgehog.” The only casualty was the hedgehog who was found dead at the scene. They are considering charging Singalargh with animal cruelty, but they are unsure whether the animal was alive before the attack. This lends one to the inevitable conclusion that he may have been throwing road kill at the kid. “You little brat, I’m gonna get you with, with, with, (He looks around) …a dead hedgehog.” Actually he better hope it was dead because if it wasn’t, the British Society for the Preservation of Hedgehogs will go after him. A couple of years ago, they won a lawsuit against McDonalds Corp. over the lids of their Flurry cups. They were just the right size so that hedgehogs would get their heads caught in them when they would try to lick the leftover ice cream out of them. If the B.S for the P.O.H can take on someone as big as McDonalds, Singalargh hasn’t got a hedgehog’s chance in hell. His lawyer says he intends to plead innocent. He faces up to five years in prison. I’m not sure how that one would go over once you are in prison. “What ya in for?” “Assault with a hedgehog.” “I got your hedgehog…”

To read the actual article, go here:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=136434&in_page_id=2